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The Big 3 Things of the Week

Every week, we look at the Big Three things happening in Celtics-land, good and bad, and we rank them... Because we don't have the attention span to do a 12 days of Christmas thing

On The Way Up

1: The long and winding road: So what if the teams the C's beat on their way to 11 straight wins are about 50 games under .500 combined?  20-4 is 20-4.  And right now, the only teams with that record are us... and the Lakers (click here to add dramatic sound effect)

2: Back in MY day:  Kevin McHale basically calls today's NBA players a bunch of pussies... which is awesome.  If only he could follow that up by clotheslining LeBron. 

3: Next step, thumb wrestling:  Glen Davis is a couple weeks away from coming back.... and he's playing Madden to get his thumb back into shape. 

On The Way Down

3: Don't carry a grudge or anything:  Brad Miller doesn't think revenge is a dish best served cold.  He thinks it should be served frozen a year after it was made.  At least he doesn't hit very hard.

2: Ole'!:  The C's still have problems staying in front of guys and tests like Orlando on the road coming up.  Here's hoping they're not lulled into a false sense of confidence by their recent success.

1: Doc is just killing me:  Actually, this has nothing to do with anything bad happening this week... but 2 straight midweek days off give us no storylines.  Dammit, Doc... throw me a friggin bone here. 

The Big 3 Things of the Week

Every week, we look at the Big Three things happening in Celtics-land, good and bad, and we rank them... Because fans in China shouldn't be the only ones screwing up some voting this week     .

On the way up

1: BEASTONDO, DAMMIT!!  I'm going to have to accept the fact that we need a new nickname for these two.  In the meantime, Perk's BEASTING at a higher level than ever, and Rondo is regularly taking over 4th quarters. 

2:  Splash... Splash... Splash  KG's jumper is wet, baby.  You know you're on wicked roll when you shoot 8 of 14 and it kills your shooting percentage. He was up over 70% for December going into last night... and now he's "down" to 67%. 

3: Just enjoy it while it lasts, OK?  Tony Allen didn't suck in his first game back... and he was pretty solid in his second.  It could all fall apart at any time... so let's just enjoy the moments we have left.  Right now, I feel like I found a $20 in my pocket.

On the way down

3: No one likes these kinds of surprises  We went from "Marquis has a sore thumb" to "Marquis is gonna miss a couple of games" to "Marquis just underwent successful surgery" in about a day and a half.  No wonder Rondo is stepping up... he's got no choice.

2: These people also voted for Buchanan in 2000  Allen Iverson plays in a handful of games and gets more All Star votes than Rondo? And Perk only gets 19,408 votes?  Meanwhile, out West, Tracy McGrady... who hasn't played at all this season... would be a starter.  Will of the people is one thing... stupidity is another. 

1: Maybe they're allergic to Windex?  The Celtics rebounding issues went from bad to worse last week.  Milwaukee outrebounded the C's 44-35... and 14-5 on the offensive glass.  No team gets fewer offensive rebounds than the C's.  They can only overcome this for so long.

The Big 3 Things of the Week

Every week, we look at the Big Three things happening in Celtics-land, good and bad, and we rank them... Because society demands we judge things, and we're powerless to resist its demans.

On the way up

1: We're going streaking - Oh... the Celtics look old and slow.  Oh... the Celtics look totally lost sometimes.  Oh... look at who's got the most wins in the NBA.

2: Beastondo - Why won't that nickname catch on?  Rajon is the league's assist and steals leader.  Kendrick Perkins could have the highest field goal percentage in team history.  Gentlemen... the keys to the future of the franchise are yours.

3: Groovin' -Kevin Garnett has taken 41 shots in the past week.  He's missed 10.  That is all

On the way down:

3: But he meant that stuff about your mother in a NICE way - Rasheed Wallace just broke a streak of 3 straight games with a technical foul.  It's not the kind of hot start we were looking for.

2: Ya know... he IS the Captain - Paul Pierce has scored just 8 points in each of the past two games.  He's taken a combined 17 shots.  Yeah, we won... but how about running some more of the offense through your best offensive player, huh?

1: This is getting offensive - Against the Spurs, the Celtics gave up 20 offensive rebounds... they only pulled down 2.  How much longer are they going to get away with giving up that many second and third chances?

The Big 3 Things of the Week

Every week, we look at the Big Three things happening in Celtics-land, good and bad, and we rank them... Because you need something to do before diving into those Thanksgiving leftovers.

On the way up

1: Wild Turkey - Bill Walton celebrates the same way we want to forget things. 

2: Leave the thinking to Rodin - Rondo just reacts, drains a clutch shot, and gives us hope that he'll shoot with confidence.  Let me cling to it for a little while, ok?

3: You got punk'd - Ohhh... the poor Lakers fan... embarrassed in front of a capacity crowd and now the whole internet.  It's a thing of beauty.

On the way down

3: Lord they were born gamblin men - Repeat after David Stern: "Tim Donaghy acted alone... Tim Donaghy acted alone... Tim Donaghy acted alone...."  Now... stop dreaming.

2: "Sheed for three... no" -  How many times has Mike Gorman said that this year?  Too many, really.  Numbers don't lie, Sheed.

1: The Wrong Answer - Thanks, Danny, for giving the rest of the world a reason to think Iverson is going to play here.  Why not come over and kick my dog while you're at it?

The Big 3 Things of the Week

Every week, we look at the Big Three things happening in Celtics-land, good and bad, and we rank them... because you need to kill time at work, and we're here to serve you.

On the way up

1: The Beast's balls - Perk is not afraid to call out his teammates if he has to.  And right now, he has to.  Who's gonna say something to him?

2: Look at all these rumors... surroundin' me every day -  The Celtics are pursuing Andres Nocioni.  Wait, no they're not.  Wait... just how much better is he than Scal anyway?  Nothing like a little mongering to get peoples' dander up.  FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!

3: Undiscovered talent - This internet thing is gonna catch on... especially if it's inhabited by talented reporters like this covering the Celtics.  No really, I watch for the, uhhh, interviews.

On the way down

3: Cruise control - You know that car in the right lane going 45 miles per hour with the blinker on?  That's the Celtics against bad teams.  How long can we look the other way on this?

2: Technically, you're an a-hole - Joey Crawford hands out techs like Halloween candy.  Hell... he just gave me one for writing that last sentence. Hey Stern... you wanna fix that, or what? 

1. Board games - While watching Golden State destroy the C's on the boards in the first half of Wednesday's game, I asked on Twitter when I should start worrying about the rebounding.  The responses I got:  "Start? I'm already there" and "Ummm... I'd say last week."

The Big 3 Things of the Week

Every week, we look at the Big Three things happening in Celtics-land, good and bad, and we rank them... because we just learned to count to three and we want to practice.

On the way up

1: Playing Dress Up  - Ray Allen shows once again that he's got a good make-up artist... and that he also knows a good lightsaber guy.    

2: From way downtown... Bang! - Rasheed Wallace is 2nd in the NBA in 3 pointers taken, and made. In the past week, he shot 10 of 20 from downtown. He is, what we thought he was.

3: Drinks are on Rondo - Finally... Rajon's got his new deal.  Shuffle up and deal, boys... Rondo can finally join the high-stakes games on the back of the plane.

On the way down

3: Bricklayers - KG shot 40% last week mostly on long jumpers.  Ray Allen shot 18% from 3, which is a slightly longer jumper.

2: Gidd-y up - The C's chose not to pick up JR Giddens' option for next season... making him an unrestricted free agent next summer.  Man, that class of 2010 just keeps getting better.

1: Beef - What should have been a nothing story somehow got dragged out for days.  Yeah, so Rondo and CP3 had a few words.  Big deal.  Although we shouldn't complain... it gave us an excuse to bust out some CP3 "classics".   

This Week's Big 3 Things

We're unveiling yet another new feature on Red's Army. 

Every week, we look at the Big Three things happening in Celtics-land, good and bad, and we rank them... because everyone else is doing it and we're very easily swayed by peer pressure.

On the way up

1:  Our expectations - We all talked a big game, but there's something about beating Cleveland on their court and then bitch-slapping Charlotte that is so... intoxicating.  Oh, and Cleveland is 0-2?  Shoooooooot..... what's our magic number?

2: "Get that $h!t outta here" - It's the Celtics version of someone saying "bless you" after a sneeze... they just do it now after every blocked shot without thinking about it.  And there have been a lot of those.  De-FENSE!  De-FENSE!

3: Sheed's Fro - He teased us by going natural in the season opener.  That thing was glorious.  C'mon Sheed.  Fro don't lie.

On the way down

3: Oh Baby - Growing up's a bitch, ain't it Glen? You've now got 8 weeks to clean some things up in your life.  And you though waiting for a contract this summer was bad.

2: Sign on the dotted line - Danny, just sign the damn kid, will ya?  And Rondo, you're not Chris Paul.... yet.  You get that kind of bank in your next contract.

1: Hold the Sugar - I get it... foul trouble, injuries, and an epic season opener against Cleveland add up to big minutes for Ray Allen.  I just hope this is the last of the excuses.

Thanks to Jose3030 on Twitter for the Sheed pic