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Oval Callout: Hi, I’m Ryan Seacrest here to help walk you through the 43rd Carnival of the NBA… which is being hosted right here on RedsArmy.com. Oval Callout: Now you might be wondering what the hell I, a talentless dwarf of a man, am doing hosting a basketball blog’s compilation of links from other, more well run and more popular blogs? Because only I am a bigger douchebag than Red’s Army founders Chuck and John. That… and I’ll do anything for money. Anything. Oval Callout: And really, when you think about it, considering the season the Celtics just had… it makes total sense for a Celtics blog to find the biggest loser it can to host something like this. So here’s how it’s gonna work. We’ve got some of the biggest names from American Idol history here to belt out tunes pertaining to the various links we’ve gotten. Then the judges will do their thing… and in the end we’ll declare a winner. First up… last year’s winner… 54 year old Taylor Hicks Oval Callout: I don’t know which was worse… those lyrics… or the fact that the idiot writing this thinks this was a funny idea. Awful. Oval Callout: I liked it. I didn’t at first… but a couple of drinks into it… it started to sound better. Plus, as an addict myself, I like the fact that there’s a site called hoopsaddict in there. Oval Callout: You can do whatever you want when you run a blog carnival. Hey Paula… how many fingers am I holding up? Paula? Paula? Someone wake her up and get her some coffee so she can listen to our next performer, Kelly Clarkson. Oval Callout: I still can’t believe these guys are going with this bit. It played itself out 5 minutes ago. And these songs make no sense. This is the worst blog carnival ever. Terrible. These guys are just terrible. Oval Callout: You… yerrrrr… crAY… zee. It might be the 5 r..r...rum and cokes talking. Or it COULD be the Oxy Clean I took. WAIT NO! Did I say Oxy Clean? HAH HAH HAH. I meant Oxycontin. Whoa man… I am wasted! Why is Oprah sitting next to me? Oval Callout: Umm… you’re like, 4 foot 7… And the mic is still on. Oval Callout: Oooooh…. Ladies and Gentlemen…. SANJAYA MALAKAR!!! Rounded Rectangular Callout: No… no…. I don’t want to g… g… go… ho... home. I’m fi...fine. I just puked a little. Where’s my absinthe? Rounded Rectangular Callout: Yes… whatever you say. You’re #1. Goodnight!

We want to send a special shout out to TheBigLead… which was attacked and shut down by ESPNRadio’s leading douchebag (or as he’s now known in the blogosphere… Schrutebag) Colin Cowherd.  For those who don’t know what happened, you can get the rundown here.  Props to Deadspin and WithLeather… sites with huge readerships that saw what happened and made sure it was publicized.  As an idiot blogger, I find it abhorrent that ESPN would attack “the little guy.”  I’m glad that at least there was a little scolding and an apology. 

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I got what you want… you got what I need…

The first blog up is the Need4Sheed

Like a miracle shot, or me becoming a star

Taking over Pistons.com is the coolest thing by far

 

At HoopsAddict.com… as I make the switch

They review a book on the Life of Pete Maravich

And if that ain’t all that… and a bag of chips